Tongue-tied tales (22/01/11)

This will be a slightly different blog. More of a muse than news. It’s been a quiet few weeks on the whole with more time in the flat than usual to write, relax and enjoy the space. Haven’t been able to properly spread out and make a place my own for the past couple of years so enjoying its simple freedoms.

This past week has been a mix of solitary and peopled times. Been helping some kids at CFC with their homework,  joining in the “Altar” prayer meetings at Sheila’s every afternoon (a bi-annual World Horizons prayer initiative) and having tea with friends a couple of nights which has been appreciated! Apart from that have been engrossed with writing and setting things up for the Love 146 puppet project which kicks off the first week in Feb. For most of next week I’m on a Theophostic course at the local Elim church so as of Monday, things will get busy again. So it’s been good to have had time to ponder, pray, get poetic and get almost as caught up on facebook!

So that’s the news. The muse bit comes on the back of watching “The King’s Speech” last night which I found really moving. Kept thinking of my Dad who struggles with a stammer every now and then. The scene where Prince Bertie’s Dad (the King at that point) shouts at him for clamming up was especially emotional and reminded me as well of the language lesson from hell the other week. The way the teacher kept going on, giving me no time to think, making my brain seize up and want to swear inside. So when Bertie has an almighty stutter-free swear-up later on in the film, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and cry. Could relate!

Just to say, since then things have improved and had a very encouraging time with Sreyrohm yesterday going through words for fruit and veg. The urge to swear only vaguely rose. And we laughed a lot. So both my brain and I went away a lot happier. Still a way to go though so please pray!

Getting back onto facebook these past few weeks has made me realise what could be one of the main blocks: I haven’t really let go of life back in the UK. It’s been great re-connecting with friends and seeing/reading their news but I can tell part of me is reluctant to learn a new language because it will mean I’m here now and not there. Last time I was only here 6 months and wasn’t sure whether I’d be coming back so put minimal effort into it, to be honest. Managed to get by with a few words and friendliness. This time I know it’s for longer yet part of my heart is still with family and friends elsewhere. And I can see I’ve been swithering because of it.

But “The King’s Speech”  has given me the much needed kick  to give it a proper go and find my voice here. And be determined. It’s coming in my writing and singing but the challenge now is Khmer and giving myself to that and the people who are part of my life here and now.

So I reckon there’ll be days of stammering ahead but it’s time now to stop swithering. Will still be facebooking and enjoying moments with friends in faraway places but tis time to really live here and get caught up in the community and camaraderie of all things Cambodia. Which is what drew me here in the first place and what’s filling my heart in a whole new way anyway.

So there’s me thoughts. Life will be fairly full-on these next few weeks but will try and write something along the way. Til then, bye for now and if you’ve not seen it, go and see “The King’s Speech”! It's great!